The True Confessions of Bob
by Glashtyn
Summary: Rumplestiltskin - who is he truly? Written quite a long time ago - I beg this be an example of my imagination rather than my grammatical ability.


To begin this story I must first explain something. My name is not Rumpelstiltskin that is only a name I made up to trick the queen. (a.k.a. the miller's daughter) My birth name is Bob. How incredibly dull is that? I didn't want the princess to guess my name right off so to trick her, I made up a name that I thought she would never guess. So, here's my story even if no one really wants to read it.

Once upon a time (I love that beginning) I was walking along a road that goes by the palace and I heard someone crying. Correction I heard someone howling. I actually thought someone was dying. So, I climbed up to the window and looked in to see what was up. It was the miller's daughter.

I was curious and so I asked her," What can possibly be worth all this fuss?"

She kept crying and when she finally calmed down (at least a little bit) she told me all about her father and how he had told the prince that she can spin straw in gold and that she would be killed if she didn't by morning.

Well, I couldn't just let her die. So, I spun all the straw into gold. She didn't notice, but as I was spinning the straw into gold, I noticed she was smiling a contented smile, as if she had nothing in the world to worry about. When I was finished the miller's daughter gave me her ring ( I didn't want to take it but it would have been rude not to take it ).

When I took it she laughed as if giving me the ring was going to put some spell on me or something.

So, with that I left, went home, and went to bed. It was morning and I was quite tired from all the work of spinning that straw into gold. When I awoke I decided to take a walk. While passing the castle, I heard a dreadful sound. Much worse than the sound that I had heard the previous night. It sounded like a banshee shrieking and moaning. So, I climbed up the wall to see what was wrong. It was the miller's daughter.

I was a bit angry because of all the noise and so I asked her, "Why are you ruining such a beautiful evening with all that noise?

She told me that the prince had, once again, told her to spin straw into gold. But this time he wanted a room that was twice as large and twice as full filled. She told me that he told her he would kill her if she didn't complete the task.

Once again I helped her out. I was just finishing, as the guards came to get her. I leapt out the window and went back home. As I was taking off my coat I noticed one side was heavier than the other and so I looked in the pocket. There was a necklace I had seen the miller's daughter wearing.

I was sure she was playing some kind of joke on me and now I was a bit angry with her for tricking me. I decided to play a nice little game with her. I would tell her that she had to pay me one thousand gold coins or I wouldn't help her ever again. And with that plan in mind I went to bed. The next night I walked along the castle road and heard her blubbering. And so I climbed up the castle wall to the room which she was in.

I then asked her in the sweetest voice I could muster, "Why are you crying so, dear maiden?"

She looked at me like I was the scariest thing this side of world. She let the tears flow and then, once again, the prince had told her to spin straw into gold or he would kill her. And if she was able to turn the straw into gold, he would marry her and she would become his queen. I told her that for me to do this task once more she would have to pay me a handsome sum of one thousand gold coins. And if she couldn't, too bad.

She said she couldn't pay me. And I couldn't let her die. So, I told her that I would spin the straw into gold if she would pay when she married the prince. She readily agreed to this alternative. The next day the wedding was held. And it was spectacular. Everything was perfect. Every person, in every corner of the kingdom was invited. The miller's daughter was happy now that she was queen. Three days after the wedding, as the happy couple was arriving home from their honeymoon, a visitor arrived and requested to see the queen. Thinking it was someone coming to give them a late wedding gift, the queen readily let me in.

She looked horrified when I waltzed into the room. I asked her right off to pay me so that I could be along my way. She refused, stating that she had never promised to pay me anything.

That did it. I was now angry. I started to get frustrated with her and so I yelled at her and said things I didn't mean. Like telling her that if she didn't pay me I would take away her first born child. Still, she refused to pay me. So, I left.

Nine months later she had a beautiful, baby girl. I went to the palace to take the child like I had said I would and as I was about to leave, with the child, the queen came into the room and cried and begged for me not to take the child.

I told her she could keep the child if she could guess my name in three days ( Actually I would have left the child on someone's doorstep with a note to give the child to the queen).

I left. When I got home I made up a name I thought she would never guess: Rumpelstiltskin. I even had a hard time spelling it. The next day she guessed a lot of names, but not "mine". The second day that the same thing happened.

The second night I went home and I was so proud of myself I made up a little song:

"Tomorrow I brew, today I bake

And then the child away I'll take

For little deems my royal dame

That Rumpelstiltskin is my name."

As I finished singing my little song I noticed some movement in the bushes. When I looked I saw a man running back in the direction of the palace. I knew he was going to tell the queen "my name". The third day I went to see if she could guess the name. After about fifteen minutes of guessing, she said "Rumpelstiltskin". She said it so triumphantly, you would have thought she had won a war. I laughed and laughed. She just looked at me with a puzzled expression.

I finally stopped laughing and left (What else could I do?).

Three days later I heard my story told as if I were the bad guy. I found out that the queen had told her version (The one you've probably read).

And the funny thing was, no one knew who that little man really was and to this day they still don't.


End file.
